Do the names Lucky Whitehead, Felix Garand-Gauthier and Kurleigh Gittens sound familiar or made up? It’s actually neither, they are real and unfamiliar, perhaps even really unfamiliar. There is a sport up north where the endzone is 20 yards deep, where they don’t have a fair catch rule and there are impossible-to-pronounce team names like the Alouettes and the Blue Bombers. Owing to it’s incredible popularity, it’s damn near impossible to get a jersey for the best team in the league, the Toronto Redblacks. But did you know there is something even better than hockey in Canada? There is, it’s Canadian Fantasy Football, or more simply, fantasy football and it’s sponsored by the Peaceful Treason podcast, which covers the German TV show Dark.
Earlier this year, three men took on the challenge of filling a fantasy roster game after game, week after week and even making selections during Canadian Thanksgiving in order for a chance to win the coveted ever-changing Peaceful Treason Canadian Fantasy Trophy, all the while never having watched an entire CFL game in their life.
This fantasy league is so important that, unconscionably, all contestants forgot to start an entire team for two games early on in the season. This is incredibly shocking given that, unquestionably, all contestants most certainly sat on the toilet several times over the course of the season and could have filled a roster while filling the toilet. The stakes were low at the beginning of the arduous season and none could predict what would happen next. It became clear to the two-season veterans, one QJbrushthreep (speaking of made up names) and Nick (stalwart champion from 2019), that they were up against some stiff competition. Unbeknownst to them, an individual that had been following the CFL since he was born in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan in 1964, had joined the league. It’s rumored he even played a game near a stadium once and he/him goes only by the name YouNeverSawMe8. This new cat burst on to the fantasy scene and using his insider knowledge and proceeded to hang some girthy numbers week after week, ultimately setting him on trajectory to victory over the stunned veterans.
It was such an exciting season that I won’t bore you with the details, only implore you to join up for next season so that QJbrushthreep has to buy another trophy for someone else, maybe Aeks. Search for and follow the new podcast, “Driving to Denver to Drink Beer with Nick, hosted by Scott” to get the link to the league.
